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All the things that people fail to understand …

Posted on 07 Dec 2009 in Black Forest Ramblings | 0 comments

Isn’t it a weird feeling to realize all of a sudden that no matter how much you thought people understood who you are and why you are who you are they never got it…

In everybody’s life there are people you trust and those you don’t trust. It all depends on the experiences you’ve had so far in your life how many people of all the people you know you really trust. Trust is often something we give away as a gift because our intuition tells us to … all the way hoping not to have made a mistake when we gave it away. It’s just like in the song “Last Christmas I gave you my heart but the very next day you gave it away…” … the problem with giving away your trust is that you never get it back, all you may end up with is a broken heart …

So if someone has made a lot of bad experiences with people in general, has been deceived, lied at and maybe even abused in some way, of course they will end up not trusting anyone or hardly anyone because their life has taught them that trusting people will most likely mean getting hurt sooner or later. So it’s not at all a choice to be suspicious of most people, it’s just what your life experience has taught you to do to protect yourself from harm. So you keep wearing a mask when being around people, except the few people you actually think you can trust. Those are the people you can show your genuine self to because they will not use anything they see, like weaknesses, against you to hurt you.

All this is not to say that we aren’t in the least responsible for the way we are but there are things that are stronger than reason and that form our personality. And only if you find someone who you actually think you can trust (and you made the right choice in trusting them) your personality might change … very slowly maybe but it will …

… unless the people your heart told you you should trust, haven’t really understood who you are after all. Of course they are the people who can criticize you most easily because they see your weaknesses because you let them see them. If they are really to be trusted they will make you understand that their criticism doesn’t mean they love you less but that because they love the way you are they are trying to make you realize that you could even be more adorable if you thought about their criticism. However, if they criticize you and seem to tell you that they don’t like you (as much) anymore because they just realized you have a fault in character things turn out differently and you will stop trusting them because you feel “abused”, i.e. you feel like the trust you put in them was abused.

However, since things are never black or white but rather grey, most often the people you trust mean well when criticizing you, but they either just forget to make it clear to you that they love you no matter what and that you need not worry about losing them or the relationship you had with them … or they simply fail to understand that bad experiences are engraved into your mind and that it’s not your fault they are. So they don’t get that it won’t help you if they criticize you because usually you know they are right, you know it damn well actually … and even though you do you haven’t been given one single reason to believe things could be different. So they fail to understand that the only thing they can do is DO something instead of saying something to make you realize that life can actually be different from what it used to be. So, in other words, if they just tell you you should change but don’t give you any reason to believe in them, in what they tell you, in their meaning well, you will end up feeling like they turned away from you because you are who you are …